Hey readers. Remember the days when relationships were easy? They didn’t take much effort, and everyone revered you as the saint of relationships? Doesn’t ring a bell for you? It doesn’t for me either. That being said, I do believe there’s a way to ensure you're not in the “dog house”. So, what is the game changer you ask? Well gentleman, it’s making your woman your queen. Not every relationship is meant to last. Yet, it’s hard to say how long relationships can go for. Especially, without putting in the maximum effort. Science Direct posted a helpful article that said, “little is known about how women evaluate and interpret luxury items given as romantic gifts by men. The current research explores this under-researched question and reveals that women do not always react favorably to luxury gifts. Instead, women are wary that accepting luxury gifts may lead to relationship power imbalance, which prompts less favorable reactions to such gifts.” (Green, 2020) The reason I share this is so that before you put on your Bill Gates outfit and head out the door, you remember that gifts are definitely tools for showing affection and not buying it.
So, what are the disconnects hindering relationships? One of those disconnects is lack of communication. We all have those days where you're just busy. It can be hard to sit down for a long conversation and sometimes impossible. The Interdisciplinary Journal of Applied Family Science stated, “Using the Actor‐Partner Interdependence and Common Fate Model, the results of 345 couples supported our hypotheses and revealed that a person's relationship stress is more strongly related with one's own external stress than with the partner's external stress. The findings indicate that both low relationship stress and a high level of positive communication are important in relationships.” (Ledermann, T. et. Al, 2010)
To break this down, talking about issues with your partner and giving them encouraging words is a backbone in relationships. Just spending a little time talking does wonders. Now, I’m not saying you need to pull out your psychology degree or become a shrink. I am saying that small conversations about life issues is a good way to keep the relationship healthy. Gifts are nice, but they do not always get the job done when it comes to making a relationship last.
Another major disconnect would be selfishness. Ranker took a poll that showed roughly 1400 people voted that selfishness is one of the worst traits in a man. (Green, 2020) The best way to ensure that you truly are caring for your partner is to put them above yourself. When you look at things from their perspective, you’ll find that communication is made easier. That means you can spend less time trying to find the right words to say and more time enjoying each other’s company. I’d call that a win.
Of course, no one is the same and every relationship is different. One thing that will always be consistent is that everyone loves to be appreciated in their relationship. It’s safe to say that if you work on these two aspects, the “dog house” is the last thing you’ll have to worry about.
Stay Breezy, Breezers
Ding, W., Pandelaere, M., Slabbinck, H., Sprott, D. E., 2020. Conspicuous gifting: When and why women (do not) appreciate men's romantic luxury gifts, [online] Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Volume 87, 2020, 103945, ISSN 0022-1031, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2019.103945. Available at: <https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022103119302136>
Ledermann, T., Bodenmann, G., Rudaz, M., Bradbury, T. N., 2010. Stress, Communication, and Marital Quality in Couples. [online] Interdisciplinary Journal of Applied Family Science, 59(2), pp.195-206. Available at:< https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2010.00595.x>
Green, R., 2020. The Worst Qualities In A Man. [online] Ranker. Available at: <https://www.ranker.com/list/worst-qualities-in-a-man/rachel-green>